“To Divorce or Not to Divorce:” That is the Question.

As is the situation in most of the United States, the Divorce rate goes up and down depending on a variety of factors. According to a report in the Denver Post on Monday, May 23, 2011, a Boulder therapist gave the opinion that the present divorce filings are down due to the economy and the impact on housing. While housing markets seem to fluctuate a great deal, there is no empirical data to back up the Boulder therapist in this regard. Certainly, the economy does have an overall impact on why people choose to remain married or go through the divorce process.

In my practice as a Family Law Attorney, clients have told me that the following factors were of primary consideration in wanting to obtain a Divorce or Legal Separation, and none of these reasons indicated that they wanted to stay married, just because the value of the marital home had dropped:

Common Reasons for Wanting a Divorce or Legal Separation:

  1. While I was on a military assignment or deployment, my spouse cheated on me, emptied out our bank accounts and ran up the credit card debts;
  2. I found out that my spouse was having an affair and I no longer can trust my spouse, even though I still love him/her;
  3. My spouse has a drinking problem and when he drinks he becomes physically and emotionally abusive to me and the children. He also has had 2 DUI convictions and does not seem to want any help;
  4. My spouse left Colorado with the children and have kept me from my children and now I have no contact whatsoever with my children;
  5. My Husband and I have grown apart, we no longer love each other, and behave more like roommates than a married couple;
  6. My Wife has no financial responsibility and has run up huge credit card debts that I can no longer tolerate;
  7. There is so much anger and tension in our household that I can not stand living in the same house as my spouse and I want it to end!

There is a real reason why most of the states in the United States have enacted “No Fault Divorce Laws.” It is my firm’s belief that no one should be forced to stay in a marriage which does not bring them happiness. A friend of mine, who is a Family Therapist, told me that it is far better for the emotional health of children to live primarily with one parent or the other, rather than be kept under one roof while parents fight and argue under the pretense of being in a happy marriage. To remain married to someone just because the value of the marital home is in decline, is a proposition that defies logic and only enhances the animosity and level of tension that I see in my law practice from people who want to move on with life and finalize the dissolution of their marriage.

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